So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world
you need to be arrested
So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered
"It’s called a vagina."
(Source: racingbarakarts, via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
"enjoy your movie"
"enjoy your meal"
(Source: okaywork, via thefuuuucomics)
what if you could meet your celebrity crush but the cost was them knowing everything you’ve ever said about them in your tumblr tags
shark lava and boy girl
a bigender superhero and a shark partner literally made of lava
I like how Boygirl doesn’t seem to have any superpower besides being bigender.
If you ride a shark made out of lava you really don’t need any powers do you